Letters to myself #1

Get your head screwed on right.

You’ve been ignoring the danger signs going off in your head for so long that it’s starting to take its toll. What happened to the girl who wanted to use her youth and vigour to live and learn, to serve God and others? Did you take a wrong turn down the path, distracted by the wildflowers growing on the side of the road? You told yourself you would learn godliness, self-control and reliance on your heavenly Father for all your needs, physical, spiritual and emotional. Don’t give up on that conviction now.

It’s true trusting and loving others and being loved by others is part of the whole learning experience. But it’s a slippery slope, greased by good intentions and fuzzy feelings, and before you know it your heart in pieces with no one to tell or blame but yourself. And then you’re left only with regret, bitterness and dashed dreams. All because your dreams were too small.

You were made for big things. Things beyond yourself, that involved getting down and dirty in the beautiful messes of other’s lives. That doesn’t mean you have to become Someone, but you want to be remembered as someone who loved with the love you had received. There are so many broken, hurting, lost people around, just as you once were. But you’re no longer blind. You’re no longer dead. And there are so many people out there who need someone to show them how to live. How sad it would be for you to give up the opportunity to be a helping hand because you were too distracted by your own selfish desires.

Dear, you are far more precious than this world or any other human can ever make you feel. Stop living for feelings. Live for what you know to be true and unchanging, and then experience the love only He can provide. And He loves so, so well. You have to learn to be loved by Him before you can begin to let someone else love you. And you need to learn to love yourself and know every shadow and corner of your own heart before you can start allowing someone else to handle it.

So don’t just wait for something to happen. There is so much more to be done, so much more to learn about yourself and others and the world. Work on that puzzle while there’s still only one there. Maybe one day there’ll be another to join it, but for now, let’s make it the most beautiful sky you can.


Inspired by my writing sensei and unofficial life coach, HB. 


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